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The current year marks a ten-year milestone since the phrase “vanishing” hit the common lexicon. Back then, the idea that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the peak of indignity. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a partner has only become more perplexing – an commonly pointless endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by social media lingo.

Gen Z, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread challenge on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier landscape than their Gen Y elders could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your sanity.

Below is a extensive glossary to the terms this generation is using to navigate love, intimacy and the search of both. To echo one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll long to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – According to gen Z, dating’s ideal is showing up as your true, raw self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is inquisitive or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while oozing enigma and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This signifies going for someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would get a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A date where two people bond while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 80s yuppie excess, it describes couples who forgo parenthood to focus on their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of being guarded: embracing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Red flags – Personal traits indicating a prospective partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners unstable, poor tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks affirm your choice to date a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, mostly inoffensive quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who hates the same things or people that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and usually everyday repulsions that immediately extinguish any feelings of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic act.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {